baby hiawatha.

Impending Defeat.

Today was what I had hoped would be my last doctors appointment before Liam got here. No such luck. I am still only 1 cm dilated. And while I cervix is now soft it is still high. Unfavorable is the term my doctor used. Made me feel pretty shitty to have anything about my body and my ability to have my son be unfavorable. 

As it stands I have two appointments on Monday and Thursday to have my fluids checked and have a NST to make sure he is okay and then a regular appointment on Friday to check my progress(or lack there of). Doctor Kelley doesn’t like to wait too long after your due date to deliver a baby. He said he’d rather deliver closer to 40 weeks to avoid the baby getting too big, adding stress to the baby, or a decrease in amniotic fluid.

That being said, if I don’t go into labor on my own I am scheduled to be induced on February 20th at some point in the afternoon. I have always thought being induced meant to get pitocin. Not for an unfavorable cervix! Nope, I will be getting a foley catheter, affectionately known as ‘balloon induction’. Sounds awesome, eh? A freaking balloon in my vag, YES! I’m trying really hard to be positive and look on the bright side that no matter now, being it naturally, with help, or by c-section I will have my precious son.

I can’t help but feel betrayed by my own body though. For the past nine months I have been dreaming about that moment you see in all the movies, that ‘OH MY GOD ITS TIME!’ moment but it doesn’t look like that is in the cards for me. Who knows, I may go into labor, I am though preparing myself for the very real possibility that my body may have a all bake; no delivery policy going on.

So from tonight on, Chase and I are going on lots of walks and having lots of sex. It freaks us both out but I’ll take a few awkward minutes of humping(TMI I know) over party favors in my vagina any day. 

Heres to hope!

Liam

39 weeks

Pregnant

Pregnancy

Labor

Delivery